How to Check Compatibility for Marriage?
Finding a partner for life is one of the most important processes in our life. A marital relationship is built on so many interconnected parts that you may feel overwhelmed and confused about how to check compatibility for marriage. The elements of trust, responsibility, spirituality, character, communication, intimacy, and dependability form the bond of marriage.
Are You Ready for Marriage?
Before you move on to determine the compatibility scale with a potential partner, you have a more important task. That is working on yourself and understanding where you stand in life. People often have an unrealistic idea about marriage, and many times, they are also ignorant about their own drawbacks, flaws, and habits. So, you need to understand your level of maturity, compromising, and adjustment abilities before you jump into a lifelong relationship with a person. That’s why we must be working on our flaws and should be able to learn the art of control over our behavior and instinctive nature before we give the commitment of love, security, and reliability to a person for life. So, ask yourself a few questions to know if you are ready. Here you go –
- Are you willing to compromise and sacrifice for your future better half?
- What are your opinions on the role of men and women in society?
- Do you think you can control your emotions and anger?
- Can you take care of yourself completely?
- Do you have a clear vision about life, at least the goal of your life?
- Are you expecting a partner with unrealistic qualities?
- What is your definition of romance in marriage?
Let’s discuss now how to check compatibility for marriage. We will try to understand the different parameters of compatibility under the following subheads.
Religion and Spirituality
Many would say that a successful relationship does not require the same grounds for religious or spiritual beliefs. But in reality, they do matter. Religion is often the driving force for a person’s perspective on life. Religious beliefs often define the rights and wrongs of someone’s life. So, when religious or spiritual beliefs in life differ, people may have different definitions of right and wrong, and they can have different understandings of responsibilities. This difference in opinion can cause conflicts in marital relationships. This could become more complicated when they decide to have children. And such could arise when a partner may feel disrespected or ignored about their religious identities and beliefs. Shared values and ethics always build a stronger ground for a healthy relationship.
So, never forget to check compatibility regarding faith and belief while considering a lifelong relationship.
The Way of Living Life
While looking for a life partner, you should take note of the lifestyle of your potential spouse. For many, fast-paced modern life is a more acceptable way of living, while for others, they can love nature, serenity, and an offbeat way of living. Although the differences in lifestyle may seem interesting at first for many, slowly, the charm of change goes away and people become annoyed with the opposite pace of lifestyle of their partner. And this becomes a reason for disharmony in marriage. The difference may work for some, but for most people, life tempo is quite non-adjustable.
Ambitions about Life and Career
The time is gone when women used to take the whole responsibility of the household while the men of the family worked for sustenance and financial support. Women of this era have a strong presence in professional fields, and the responsibilities of the household are more shared and equaled. So, ambitions about life and career are a big part of checking compatibility with a potential life partner. You must know the dreams and ambitions of the other person so that you can plan for the future.
People with high ambitions look for support and motivation in their partners, and the absence of such traits could bring dissatisfaction and can damage the bonding between spouses. It is not necessary that the ambitions and dreams have to be the same. Rather, the presence of motivation and support for each other is more important to determine the compatibility in a relationship.
The Difference Between Love Languages
One thing that you must know is that everyone has their own way of expressing love. Your language of love may be different from the person whom you are considering for marriage. Some people love to show their affection and feelings in an expressive manner, while others may have sweet and subtle ways of showing the gestures of love. And the differences are very common, and they are beautiful in their own way. But this trait of someone is not to be seen outwardly, as when the discussions of marriage go on, this is not an easy topic to discuss because people may shy away from sharing their way of expressing love. And one may not even be conscious of this trait of their own.
So, the best way to find out the compatibility of this trait is to talk about this trait of your potential partner with his close family members. For that involvement of both families is extremely important.
Difference Between Personalities
Involvement of family doesn’t only help you determine the compatibility for love languages, it works great too in the matter of understanding the true nature and character of the other person. People usually act their best when they are outside of their close-knit family circle. And one may act completely differently when they are with strangers and potential partners than their real personality. But if you can decode a person’s behavior with his or her family, you will be able to determine what to expect from your potential partner in a marital relationship. Apart from getting to know the person from his family’s perspective, you can also rely on your strong intuitions or gut feelings if you feel any about that person. Checking his background and history is also a good idea and there is nothing bad to investigate about the person’s goodwill from their peers or colleagues, but you have to make sure that you do so in a subtle way.
Money and Finances
Money is quite an important factor that often plays a role in the success or failure of a marriage. As people in modern life have become more materialistic, money does matter for most of us. Although, this importance given to money and status should not be encouraged. Still, an individual can have personal expectations about financial security from the future spouse. Especially women, in general, do have more concerns related to the financial stability of their significant other. This is why it is always a wise thing to discuss and know the financial status and capabilities of the person whom you are considering as your future life partner.
For some, this topic could be uncomfortable and sensitive, but you must know that it is equally important too. The key to resolution in this matter is honesty and openness because this is something that you can never hide from your partner. With a careful and considerate discussion, you can get an idea of how a person manages expenses and finance without being intrusive and offensive.
Understanding Levels and Maturity
Maturity is a very important quality that any person must have. It is true that the process of maturity never ends because life never stops giving us lessons, and we should never stop learning, but before you make a move for the greater decision of your life, you must have a standard level of understanding and adjustment skills to make your marriage successful. And the same goes for the person you are considering for marriage. To make the compatibility process complete, you need to look for a mature level of understanding in your potential partner.
In the end, one must remember that we are all imperfect, so searching for an ideal and perfect relationship is like searching for a utopia, a thing that does not exist. So, ultimately while going through the compatibility check process, it is not possible that everything will be just as you want it. Acceptance of the minor drawbacks and flaws is essential to make a marriage work. Humans will learn and grow throughout their life, and marriage is a beautiful relationship that requires compromises and commitments as you grow together.
The person whom you are going to marry doesn’t have to have a tick beside all the compatibility markers. Checking the parameters is surely important, but they are not the ultimate deciders of a successful married life. The thing that matters the most is your attitude toward your better half and vice versa. It depends on the ability to sacrifice at the time of need, trust and values when things get hard, and ultimately your mutual agreement on the matters of right and wrong, acceptable and unacceptable.
Someone wisely remarked that marriage is like an empty box in the beginning. Whatever you start to put in that box is what you get in return. So, now you know the steps to check compatibility for marriage, and you are ready to start the search for your life partner. We wish you all the best!
She is a certified Graphologist since 2002 and is an expert in designing customized remedies to help her clients overcome various life issues like finance troubles, career growth, education, relationship problems, anxiety, guilt, fear and health issues like back pains, digestion/stomach related issues etc. She has done her M.Tech in IEOR from IIT Bombay. Her one-on-one guidance and customized solutions ensure that all her clients succeed and develop at a fast pace who come from all walks of life including entrepreneurs, students, business professionals, housewives, retirees, white-collar and blue-collar workers.